WikiGuard

Since the dawn of time, computers have provided a reliable means of collaboration. Wikipedia, according to a reliable internet source, is "a free, web-based, collaborative, multilingual encyclopedia project". This allows millions of people to gather together and collectively decide what they think the truth is. CNN has iReport, which allows anyone with a camera to comment on the myriad complexities of society. This kind of cheap labor technology is referred to as "crowdsourcing", or "mediocretech".

No, we're not here to crowdsource your morning coffee (yet). Instead, we want to help you protect your home. As Pope John Paul II once said, "A man's home is his castle, and women invoked original sin". But you're still protecting your domicile with a wooden baseball bat by the nightstand and a 11-year old Dachshund that, let's face it, could really only manage to protect you by slowly rolling over the feet of the burglar and maybe that burglar has ingrown toenails or something.

You're not getting past me and my ferociously wagging tail unless you brought treats