Face Memory

One of the best things about the internet is the development of social media. According to a recent study of the most frequent users of Facebook (high school students and your mom), users really enjoy being able to share their ideas with the world, catch up with old friends, and keep up with events in others' lives, none of which would be possible without the internet.

For the most part, Facebook relationships are easy; the occasional wall post or status comment (coming soon: "auto-like") keeps things congenial. However, every so often a rogue friend will invite you to an event that doesn't involve voting for them in the Skankiest Thanksgiving Day Parade Participant contest in the local paper. These rare occasions where you must socialize without a keyboard proxy can be thrilling, but they are actually fraught with peril.

You've done it before:



You're not fooling anybody. Everyone that heard this conversation knows you just forgot the person's name, and they're all sexting each other about how ridiculous you just looked. We're not here to judge; we know how hard it is when the person doesn't have their name floating above their head. We want to help.

Introducing Face Memory. No longer will you have to scramble for names in your head. Just let your phone do the thinking for you! Face Memory syncs with Facebook, so it can recall all your friends. How does it work? Let's see an example:

Alice: "Hey, Bob! How's your golf swing?"
Bob: "Oh hey...just a second."
Bob takes out his phone, opens the Face Memory app, and captures an image of Alice's face
Alice: "I said, 'how's your golf swing', Bob?"
Bob is notified that he has not linked his Facebook account, so he furrows his brow and enters his credentials
Alice: "Well, I guess you haven't gotten out a lot lately, huh? The weather has been kinda bad lately."
Bob receives an email from Facebook notifying him that Face Memory has been given access to his list of friends (this is normal)
Alice: "I'll see you later, Bob. Have a good one!"
After the Face Memory servers have processed the image, Bob is notified that it is in fact "Alice Anderson" that was previously speaking at him

Here, Bob notices that Alice has left, so he clicks the convenient link in Face Memory to go to Alice Anderson's Facebook page. There, he writes on her wall, telling her that he's working on pulling too far to the right, that yes, the weather has been unpleasant lately, and that he hopes she has a good one as well. Social crisis averted!

"Hold on, I'm Face Mem-ing you..."

The paid version of Face Memory can also sync with your workplace's personnel listings. No longer will you be caught at the holiday party telling the CEO that you've "been supplementing my terrible paycheck with projectors from the conference rooms, how are things in the warehouse?"

This is a good time to note that Face Memory is still in beta status.

Avoid social situations. If that's not possible, avoid awkward social situations with Face Memory!

Addendum (03/16/11):
Our lawyers have informed us that we are currently being sued for using the word "Face" as part of our branding. Apparently this infringes on the software patent #5443036 by Apple ("Using the word 'face' to describe a mobile application capable of capturing images that may include faces"), as well as trademarks by Facebook and the Society for the Preservation of Late 1990's Insults (SOFTPLI). We plan to file counter-triple-dog-dare-suit. Until these matters are resolved, you can find our app by searching for "Faec Memory".

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Pictures used with implied permission (thanks, Google Image Search):
http://www.digital-photography-school.com/how-to-use-a-camera-phone
http://www.iamlearningcommunity.com/category/blog/
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/celebs/c113636_Lauren_Ambrose.html